Protect your child from abuse

In America, one case of child abuse is reported every 10 seconds. Over 80 per cent of child abusers are known to the child. Child Abuse give statistics and reveals how we become wary adults and have dysfunctional relationships because of such scars. The World Health Organisation (WHO) states that one in four girls and one in seven boys are sexually abused. Abuse comes in various forms - psychological abuse, neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse. Until recently sexual abuse remained rather secretive and socially unspeakable. Offenders are more likely to be relatives or acquaintances of their victim than strangers abused as children. 90 per cent of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way; 68 per cent are abused by family members. About 80 per cent of 21-year-olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. Abused teens are three times less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs. In India, ministry of women and child development report states main findings: 53.22 per cent of children reported having faced sexual abuse. Among them 52.94 per cent were boys and 47.06 per cent girls. The study also reported that 50 per cent of abusers were known to the child and most children had not reported the matter to anyone. Sexual abuse of children is a very real problem in India, and the situation is aided by the absence of effective legislation and the silence that surrounds the offense. The definition of child abuse varies from country to country. Acts that result in physical, sexual or emotional abuse, or neglect of children fall under the purview of law in almost all developed nations. In India, child abuse exists in many forms, but the laws are still ambiguous and most children suffer in silence. India has the largest number of child sex workers in the world, yet there is no single, specific definition of child abuse. Disbelief, denial and cover-up to preserve family reputation has made child sexual abuse an invisible crime in India. It seems there is an official denial of the existence of the problem. There is pretence that it only inflicts the West. This also explains why there is no framework in place here. I'm a 16-year-old girl. Since I was 12, my uncle used to touch me in a way that used to make me uncomfortable. I think he did the same to my brother but I'm not very sure. My uncle had moved abroad for the last few years but now he is coming back for a holiday and is going to be staying with us. I don't want him to repeat his actions. What should I do? I'm too scared to tell my mother. What if she shouts at me? It's unfortunate you and your mom don't have an open line of communication on such issues. Start building on it immediately. Tell her now that you're 16, you would like to develop an open and trusting relationship on personal matters. If you feel she's incapable of handling such things, then make sure you have the confidence of a senior family member whom you trust. When your uncle returns, look him in the eye and tell him "the last time you saw me I was just a kid, but now I'm grown up into a no nonsense girl". He'll get the message loud and clear. If he takes it as a challenge and misbehaves, just bring it to the family's notice immediately. Tell them how long it's been happening and don't feel guilty for even a minute about the scene it will create. Such people deserve to be exposed. God alone knows how many skeletons will topple out of the family closet once you stand up to him. I am a 30-year-old man working as an educator in an educational institute with middle class students. There's a 12-year-old female student of mine, who really respects, loves and cares for me a lot. But since the past few days, things have not been going so smooth. She is like a teacher's pet to me, and one of my favourites. She gives me a rose everyday, writes my name on her hand and applies kajal in her eyes. She does all this, because I have told her to do it and whenever she doesn't, I feel very upset and angry. I don't talk to her for the whole day. Am I really misleading her or making her stray? She is a first rank student. But I really love her a lot. It's pure innocence on both sides and even the whole class respects this. It's one thing to be a teacher's pet, but I think that if you're a 30-year-old educated man then you're aware of how this is way beyond just being that. Let her marks make you happy, not her kajal. Use your rapport to encourage her to perform and outperform academically. That's beneficial use of the position you hold in the class and in her eyes. Get a hold on your ego, stop misusing your position of power and immediately stop leading this girl on or traumatising her if she fails to live up to your expectations. She's just 12 for God's sake! I am a 19-year-old girl. I met a school senior of mine when he came to school and we became friends and started chatting online. Soon we started having long conversations on the phone as well. He gradually started talking about sex to me and what a man desires are and how a girl should satisfy them. We both talk dirty on the phone in the night and I have even started watching porn these days. But I do not want this to continue. Please suggest what I should do? You wanted to do it, so you did it. So if you want it to end, just simply end it. There is no moral, emotional or physical obligation to continue. Tell him that it doesn't interest you anymore and take him off your chat line. Every time he calls you, politely say you're busy or with family. Or simply start discussing political issues, your incredibly tough study curriculum, or your new found connection with spirituality to make him grimace! He'll get the message loud and clear and if all he's into is dirty talk he'll beat a hasty retreat and find another willing partner. I am a 23-year-old woman in love with a guy who is a childhood friend. Our families know each other and he proposed to me this February. But he is usually out of town for work and does not call or message me often. He only talks to me when I call him. I really want to get married to him but he never brings up the topic of marriage. What should I do? l Well, I think it's obvious you both need to sit and have a serious face to face talk. Tell him that a lifetime of knowing him and now loving him shouldn't result in a 'ghar ki murghi daal baraabar' situation. Since he has proposed (a relationship) to you, tell him clearly what you expect in a relationship and your eventual dream of it culminating in marriage. If he has aversions on any front it is best to be clear as to what is acceptable and what isn't, and take an informed decision on whether you would like to pursue it further.