More and more young couples, both married and unmarried, after being in a relationship for a fair period of time (ranging from six months to 10 years) are beginning to experiment. What begins with an innocent fantasy soon grabs the imagination of the couple and all it takes is the false bravado that alcohol provides, to push one into the arms of 'others'. Men can't handle it Most times, it's the man who suggests a threesome. But, also most times, he's the one left holding the short end of the stick, as it's all, seemingly, quite decked in favour of the woman. Accrording to counsellor Ramya Chandran, "Women, as they are made can actually forgive a man when he strays, as long as he comes clean and they know that they are his only true love. So in a threesome situation, where it's with another woman, since it's already been discussed, women are okay with it, and quite enjoy the overflow of passion and the sensitive touches of a woman. But the man on the other hand might initially be excited at the idea of sharing his woman with another man, but will not know what hit him when he sees his woman enjoying the touches and attention of another man. What he feels is a combination of jealousy, remorse, anger and insecurity and when the combined feeling hits, there's only one way this relationship is going and that's, down." Women lose self-worth According to family cousellor, Naren B, "Women who indulge in casual sex, generally suffer from low self-esteem over a period of time. What starts out as using sex to gain control over 'man'kind, eventually gives way to the reality of being used as a sex doll by men, who soon start passing information to each other about this 'easy' woman everyone can have. Apply this general progression to that of a threesome where the woman is either forced to or willingly sleeps with another man; she is soon to be affected by the same sense of poor self-worth, since the other man is not with her because he appreciates all things that make her a woman, like her caring nature, gentleness, affections etc... all he's looking at is the physical aspect of her and once again reality is soon to hit home and she will wake up to the fact that her body is being used; that she is being used and that's not such a nice feeling." A sense of shame prevails The morning after is never a great feeling, in spite of all the excitement the darkness of the previous night may have offered. "Anyone in a relationship who says he or she felt great after experiencing a threesome the night before, is lying!" says Dr Alex M, a practicing psychiatrist, who also counsels married people at a volunteer center. "A sense of shame clouds you and you can of course pick yourself from it, by saying you'll never do it again and or lying to yourself that it was great and that it has rejuvenated your flagging sex life, but a sense of shame will prevail for some time to come. Many do not recover from it and some can slip into chronic depression," he says. Things can go terribly wrong And, then, here are all the things that can go wrong: The guy or girl you've allowed into your bed can start talking. (Guys normally do.) Whether a threesome is planned, prearranged or spontaneous, one crucial bit of information people never seem to have is the sexual health of the third person. And we're not talking just AIDS here. More common among people with a thriving sex life are herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis etc. not life threatening, but definitely chronic and very, very damaging for both physical and emotional health. Condoms can break. It happens! Just as luck would have it, it might break when you choose to pass your mate around. And when the pregnancy test shows positive, who, do you really blame here!